What Does Not Kill You… How To Survive Bad Dates
If you have got your dating game going on, chances are that you have experienced the odd bad date. It might be because he or she does not live up to your expectations. On the other hand, it could be they gave you some bold-faced lies as you bonded over the internet. Here’s how to survive that seemingly endless date of horrors.
1. Zilch Chemistry
It is either there or it isn’t. Either way, you will be immediately aware. He/ she might think differently but that’s their bad luck. Correct? Well, not exactly. Before you immediately ask for the drinks bill as the waiter delivers the first round, ask yourself what made you agree to the date in the first place.
If you met online, perhaps it was your common interests. If it is a blind date, consider what it is that your well-meaning friend thought would make you an ideal couple. Sometimes, chemistry just creeps up from nowhere. How many times have you heard of couples who have been friends for years without a lustful thought about the other until one day something clicks and they find that they cannot keep their grubby hands off each other. Most people forget that dating is all about having fun. Just kick back and get to know the person. If, by the end of the evening, you decide that he or she is not the person for you, at least you had a good time and maybe you have made a new friend.
2. Your Date Is So Darn Boring
The cutie in front of you just might be shy. Hence the painful silences whilst you pretend to check important messages on your iphone now that you have long since run out of questions to ask that only elicited one word answers. Or worse still, is the date who drones on in monotone about whatever it is they think is so interesting that evoked little more than you swiftly downing several cocktails in aid of your secret pledge to get drunk to numb the audible pain.
Now hold up before you dismiss them from your Little Black Book! It could be that they are nervous about their first date with the Oh-So-Amazing you, so give he or she a break. It’s a known fact that men on dates tend to babble on about themselves in an effort to to impress a lady, often forgetting to ask her about herself. Or the genteel lady might just be too intimidated to utter a single word to you but in front of her mates, she’s a motormouth. Persist. If they talk too much, have no shame in interjecting. If they say too little, keep the fires burning by asking questions until you hit onto something that the shy guy or girl is interested in.
3. He/ She Lied Their Butts Off
If you met your date online and are expecting to meet a 6 foot something, muscular fireman and you end up with a rotund, 5′ 5″ dude who still lives with his ma’ until, he claims, he finds the right job – he lied. If the supposed blonde swimwear model turns up with months old hair roots, concave breasts and a muffin top – she lied. So what should you do? There’s only one thing – get the hell out of there and fast. Yes, no need to be polite, take pity or ‘see where this goes’. If they have blatantly lied, they deserve everything they get and that includes seeing the back of your head as you rush out of the door. They lied.
4. You Want Different Things
So the man in front of you is looking for a new babymomma for his five kids now that their crackhead mother is finally banged up in the nick. The hot brunette’s scant attire makes it clear that she just wants to have fun and blow your money all over town. And you? You are simply looking for the love of your life with bells and whistles on it. Surprisingly, very few people state upfront about the type of relationship that they are looking for. Yes, you can be blatant about what you want on the first date (but perhaps best to leave out how many kids you want etc). This is your time, don’t waste it.
If he tells you upfront that he does not want anything serious and you have already mentally picked out the wedding dress, back off now. If she is already doing a Beyonce demanding to know when are you going to put a ring on it, and you just want a hook up – don’t hook up that night with promises of a trip to Tiffany’s on the next date. Expect a bunny boiler in the midst. Of course, you can avoid all of this by finding out what your date wants before you meet each other and decide whether or not you should meet.
5. Your Date Is Devoid Of Manners
This is the time when he or she should be on their best behaviour. Failure to do so at this early stage will clearly be the tip of the iceberg. If she is checking out the rump of the waiter as he saunters by, she may well be a ‘Ho. If he is belching the alphabet fully utilising the gaseous content of his beer, you can only imagine how horrendous your wedding reception dinner might be. Profanity, racism, innuendoes and the like are all bad signs. This is a bad date. There’s no salvation. Politely leave.
Photo: Ryan McQuire