The Ugly Truth About Dating
The bitter pill to swallow is that both men and women have to deal with a whole load of BS in their hunt for Mr or Ms Right. We reveal some home-truths for both sexes.
Problem: Men Are Ruled By Their… (answers on a postcard please!).
Girlfriend, we’re not trying to be cynical. It’s just nature’s way, is all. No matter how much he presents himself as the innocent boy-next-door-type or a Christian lad, by the time he’s bought the first round of drinks, in his mind’s eye, he’s already disrobed and mounted you.
Solution: The simple, effective solution is not to sleep with him on the first few dates. Doh! Not really a huge surprise but you would be alarmed to know just how many women do oblige. In the age of the Internet, men are just too spoilt for choice (albeit with scabby Hos but that’s their choice!). We would even go as far as to suggest that you do not kiss on the first date. Yes, really. A player is going to find you way too much hard work to put the effort in whereas the real deal will plan on courting you to the max, so much so, that you will probably eventually end up leaping upon him yourself.
Problem: Players have the innate ability to read women like a book and worm his way into your head/ bed at top speed.
It only takes them a mere few seconds to suss out your core weakness and how to get their wicked way with you – and quickly. No joke. Got a daddy complex? They will become your immediate Big Daddy. Hellbent on getting down the aisle? They’re already telling you what a beautiful bride/ mother you would be.
Solution: If he seems to be good to be true, then he probably is. See: Men Are Ruled By Their… (above).
Problem: Men Subconsciously Reveal Their True Intentions On The First Date. Women Just Don’t Listen.
So once again, you find yourself crying into your hanky, lamenting the end of yet another short-lived relationship. But deep down inside, you both knew it was never going to last. Do you remember when he told you that he dumped his last girlfriend because he had commitment issues? Oh, yeah, and also the one before that. Honey, you are now that last girlfriend and he still ‘has’ commitment issues. Listen very carefully to what he says to you on the first date. Not what he ‘tells’ you. Do you see where we’re going here?
Of course, there are occasions when men will blatantly come out and tell a woman that he’s not ready for a relationship. And yet, somehow, the woman will think she can change him. It’s never happened. It never will.
Problem: Men Are All About The Numbers Game
The way that they see it, the more digits they collect, the more likely it is that they are going to get that Saturday night date. And whilst you are twiddling your thumbs, staring at the phone, wondering why he hasn’t called yet, he’s happily working his way through his list until he gets to you.
Solution: The numbers game is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s quite logical. Women don’t, but should, play that same game. Let’s call it efficient dating. Next time that you’re at a dating event collect as many numbers as humanely possible and over the course of the weeks, whittle down your fan club to the guy you like the most.
Avoid The Meal Ticket ‘Ho
Boys, the ugly truth is that at least every single one of you, at some time in your life will be/ has been played by the woman who just wanted to get fed. She’ll batter her eyes all the way through dinner at the fancy restaurant you have taken her to and that she knows is beyond her personal budget. And before you can say ‘Cheque, please.’, she’s already out of the door planning on who’s taking her to lunch the next day.
Solution: Sadly, genuine women take a hit on this but this is all about bullet-proofing yourself against bad dates. So let’s talk logic. If a woman is truly into you, she will be happy enough to have a causal first date getting to know you over drinks. And yes, you pay for the drinks – even if she offers. It’s called courting! If she agrees to a second date, then you’re in there. Most women, expect, and should be invited to dinner on the second date if you are serious about her.
Problem: Avoid Turning A Real Live Date Into A Mate
So you’ve just had a wonderful dinner for two. She’s putty in your hands. And you really like her. You know there’s another date in the offing and you lean in close, nuzzle her neck, then whisper in her ear that it’s her turn to pay/ plan the next date. Say, what?!
Welcome to friendzone! It doesn’t matter if she is the CEO of ‘Whatever Inc., and the highlight of your career to date is collecting pint glasses, every lady wants to be courted. The moment you start dividing up costs as she would willing do so with her mates, you will find yourself firmly planted into her circle of friends (or not as the case may be).
Solution: You never, ever suggest that your date now ‘owes’ you something. At the very least, it’s rude. Worse still, never suggest that she pays for half of the bill. Whether it is dinner or drinks, for the first few dates at least, put your hand in your pocket and romance the hell out of her. Can’t effort a big swanky restaurant? No matter. If she likes you, she will be happy enough shooting the breeze with you in MacDonalds.
Problem: Woman Who Want Serious Relationships Makes You Want To Run
Solution: Take off your running shoes for just a moment. Did she say she wanted to attach a ball-and chain to you and you were never to have fun or see your mates ever again? No. She is simply stating that she is keen to find the right partner and not indulge in time-wasting with idiot guys. That’s all. Any girl who announces that she just wants to have fun will probably bring with her a delightful range of STDs. Stick around and have some fun with the serious girl.