What To Talk About On Your First Date
Conversations can be difficult to start on your first date. People often get so nervous they fear saying something silly, something offensive or find themselves too busy thinking of something to say and end up in awkward moments of silence. The key thing to remember is: this person would not be sitting here meeting you for a date, if they didn’t want to see you, chat to you and get to know you! Any kind of conversation can lead to another, and another, and another; so all you need is a great ice breaker and away you go!
It’s often very easy to have some pre-planned questions in your mind and start firing them at your date one after the other. However, try and allow the conversation to flow naturally; try not to ask too much in a systematic way. Your date needs to be fun and light hearted, not like an interrogation or job interview.
What to talk about on your first date
Do’s and don’ts
Don’t make your date feel like you’re not present
Look around you and talk about the food, the place, but keep this minimal. You need to be present in the date, don’t give the impression that your mind is elsewhere or that you want to BE elsewhere!
Don’t scare them off by talking too long term
Light conversation is best to start with. Music and films they like is always a great topic and asking about their day or weekend. Don’t be too serious, but get a balance. No one wants an immature date unable to hold a decent conversation. However, getting bogged down in minor details about their job, aspirations, siblings and lifestyle can get pretty heavy for a first date.
Don’t lie to impress
This is where you do need to think long term. Lying will only catch you out later, unless it’s a really tiny white lie that you will be able to laugh about in the future. See what we recommend here.
Don’t talk about controversial subjects
Unsurprisingly, talking politics or religion is a bit of a no go area on a first date. It can lead to disagreements, which can lead to arguments, which could lead to you going home sooner than you think!
Don’t talk about past relationships
Talking about your ex will just dig you into a great big hole. Bringing up past happy memories you have had with your ex will just be the most ridiculous thing you can do on a first date, and talking badly of them will make you sound bitter. In fact, either will give them the impression you are not over the relationship.
Do talk about their online profile
Everyone finds it easy to talk about themselves, so bring up some points you have read in their profile. This will show you are super interested and attentive, as well as bringing a good momentum to the conversation.
Do compliment them
A couple of compliments here and there never hurt anyone. If you genuinely think your date looks hot, then tell them. It will make them feel good and worth all the effort they have made. However, be careful not to be overly complimentary as it may come across fake, and don’t get sleazy either, but one or two compliments can be very charming and add a hint of flirtatious behaviour.
Do speak up if you don’t have a clue what they are talking about
It’s better to laugh about it and say if you’re not sure, rather than letting them carry on and finding yourself unable to answer any questions they may have in relation to what they have said. You won’t look stupid if you just be honest!
Listening to the other person is just as important as talking to them. Try not to interrupt them as it will come across rude and abrupt rather than nervous.
Do laugh and tell jokes
As mentioned, it’s always nice to keep things light hearted and fun. Don’t feel shy to laugh or tell jokes – of course, avoiding any that may cause offence! You never know they might fall in love with your smile!
Topics to bring up can range from movies to family, music to your job industry. It all depends on the timing and location. You can’t randomly start talking about the zoo as you walk into a bar. Unless of course the bar you are going to is full of animals! But remember, if spontaneity and randomness is you, and it has been brought out in your profile, then don’t be too shy to show it! Whatever the circumstance, just be YOU.
Here is an interesting quote to leave you with:
“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.”
Leaving all the talking to your date will just be boring for them and tiring for you to keep nodding, so loosen up and let the conversation flow!
Now you know What To Talk About On Your First Date!