There’s a lot of frustrations and pitfalls connected with looking for love in middle age. Yes, that’s right admit it – you’re middle-aged. Gulp!
Some of you may be way in denial and hanging on for dear life to the youth card. Others might simply have not have found ‘the one’, put career before love or are on the other end of a longterm relationship or marriage. Either way, unless you are a celebrity millionaire or the modern day Dorian Gray, the one thing you will all have in common is that the resources of people are far less reduced than when you were gadding around town in earlier years. Most people, at this age, are already in a committed relationship, your wingmen/ women are in short supply – and dare we say it? – a lot of people are going to be coming at you with a lot of baggage. But as they say, life begins at 40 – and it aint over yet. And the good news is, there are more singletons over the age of 40 on the hunt than ever before. So, where on earth do you begin?
The Ugly Truth
Men fair far better than the ladies. Fact. The UK government office of national statistics predicts that 40% of all women over 59 will be single in 2015. That means that there are two unattached professional ladies aged 35 to 50 for each unattached professional male. Men are more reluctant to date women in their late 40s and beyond. Sad, but true. But before you men get too cocksure, Cougars are on the increase with older women and younger men happily settling down in serious relationships more than ever before.
Take time to review your resources. How are you going to acheive your objectives? Online Dating? Dating Events? Which of your friends are available to accompany you as you go about your search? The main thing is to stay positive. It’s easy to get bogged down with feelings of despair that you will never find the one. The same as with most anything else, if you go in with a negative attitude you are going to limit what you can get out of it. So be positive! See it as an opportunity to get in touch with other single people that you might get on with, and have a laugh with without having any specific expectations. That way you will have a lot more fun and really be yourself.
Choose a site. There are so many. Some are free; some have membership fees. The good news is that there are plenty of sites catering to certain age groups, specific ethnicities, religious faiths, gender preferences, educational levels, hobbies such as FilmJuiceDating and more, making it easy for you to find a comfortable fit. And of course, same sex dating websites such as the uber sophisticated Cupid’s Sister for Gay & Lesbian. Get started. Choose one and sign up! Need some help? Read Our Online Dating Guide.
Get Out Of The House, Already!
It’s easy to hole yourself up when your social circle has about dried up, whereever you go, the patrons look half your age – and in this day of recession you’re on a budget ( see our article on Dating On A Budget!). Actually, there’s a lot of things you could and should be doing. Aim for singles events that cater for your background, interests as well as your age group. If you are strapped for cash, book in advance and take advantage of early bird discounts. Pop Up Speeddating prides itself on catering for all. See upcoming Pop Up Speeddating Events.
If you fancy something a little more slow-burn, why not try Date Supper Club? It is all about exclusive parties amazing food, wine and venues with around 1,000 members signed up. Founder, Marcia Degia says: “The success rate is high and even if members do not meet someone romantically they still have a fantastic time.’
One member, Diane, 40, a marketing director, said: ‘I’d been in a longterm relationship and it didn’t work out. By then I had loads of married friends and a circle of single friends I knew really well. I wasn’t meeting new people. At Date Supper Club I met loads of interesting people who just had something about them. I’m now in a relationship and it’s going really well.’
So, You Have Kids?
Chances are either you have a kid or too, or your potential partner has a ready made family. Either way, it does not take you out of the race. In fact, there’s a whole online dating website built around the idea: Dating For Parents. Check out Date Supper Club dating advice article on Dating For Single Parents.
By the time you hit forty, you have a pretty good idea of what you want when it comes to dating, love, and romance. But how do you get it? HOW TO DATE LIKE A GROWN-UP will tell you everything you need to know to find the love you’re looking for (even after a long marriage or other dating hiatus), how to get married (if that’s what you’re after), or how to just get lucky.
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Alternatively, why not check out Pop Up Speeddating Bookstore for more dating advice!